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Strengthening Ourselves, Strengthening Each Other

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I usually maintain a reasonably clear boundary between my professional writing and my personal life. The recent reaction to a d’var (word of Torah) that I gave was so positive, though, that I decided to share an edited version of it with my readers:

Sometimes you just need to go: You have to leave wherever you are — your current environment — for your own sake. For example, in the Book of Exodus, the Israelites needed to leave Egypt, so God created a series of events to make it inevitable that finally, they would be able to go. And recently the news featured another important and very public leave-taking that moved and saddened me so much that I went looking for the Jewish teachings that would help me accept it.

I’m sure you all know that Gabby Giffords has resigned from the House of Representatives. Not under any cloud — there was no scandal, impropriety, or ethics violation. Instead, she left under a rainbow: An almost supernatural bridge, taking her from a bad, even devastating time to one of hope and promise.

You all know who Gabby Giffords is: She’s the popular Congresswoman from Arizona who was almost killed by a close-range gunshot wound to the head in January 2011 while she was holding a peaceful constituents’ meeting in a supermarket parking lot. You probably remember the horrible partisan wrangling that was going on at the time of her shooting, accompanied by very heated political rhetoric about wiping people out.

When it became clear that Giffords would survive, I was thrilled and frightened for her — although I wondered what kind of life she would have — and I was deeply relieved when her condition continued improving. But a few weeks ago, Giffords announced that she needs to do more work on her recovery and that her stepping down would be in Arizona’s best interest.

I was truly sorry to hear about her resignation. She seems like a real person — not phony or self-aggrandizing, but a true citizen-representative, willing to work with everyone in Congress, irrespective of political party — and she had become such a positive focus for her colleagues.

On some level, I wanted a fairy tale resolution. A miraculous recovery — which is what Giffords is having — wasn’t enough. I wanted her recovery to be immediate as well as complete — a refuah shlaimah.

I also wanted her to stay in Congress. I prefer bipartisanship, which she not only promoted, but demonstrated. In the midst of some of the bitterest partisan fighting in U.S. history, Giffords became a symbol of good will that Congress and the country could rally around, whether or not they believed in gun control or avoiding polarizing rhetoric. She was our hero — mortally wounded, but recovering. We were all pulling for her! Where was Frank Capra with our happy ending?

I was surprised at how strongly I wanted her to stay, given that I believe in putting on your oxygen mask first so you can be capable of helping someone else. Rushing to help other people when you’re not sufficiently equipped could mean hurting both yourself and others.

I asked a rabbi friend if there was anything Talmudic about the oxygen mask analogy. He came back with two citations.

I was familiar with the first one: Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” I have a responsibility to take care of myself; it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to do so, it’s mine. But that still didn’t satisfy my unhappy sense that Giffords was going to do what she needed to do for herself while letting us, the American people, suffer from the loss of her.

So I really appreciated the second text, which is from the Babylonian Talmud, Bava Metzia 62a. Here’s the setup:

Two people are traveling some distance from civilization, and between them, they only have one canteen of water. The water is not enough to sustain both people. If they share the water, they will both die. If only one drinks, that one will survive to reach civilization.

An early teaching on this, by Ben Patura, was that it was better for both to drink and die than for one person to see the death of his companion.

But Rabbi Akiva taught something quite different: If there is a conflict between your life and the life of another, he said, “Your life takes precedence over his life.”

Rabbi Akiva based this ruling on the text of Leviticus 25:36, which some translate as, “That your brother may live with you.” If you are not alive, then you cannot take care of your brother by letting him live with you.

Another translation explains: “Let him live by your side.” Others may live with us, but they are not entitled to live instead of us. You protect your life first, and once it is assured, you can go on to help others. You put on your oxygen mask and tighten the straps so you can be strong and resourceful enough to help others survive whatever circumstances you’re in together.

So Gabby Giffords is entitled to leave Congress to take care of herself and accomplish a full recovery. Her life takes precedence. She needs to be healthy before she can return to public service, as she has promised. By taking care of herself first, she will be able to take care of us, her brethren, again.

I wish Gabby Giffords a refuah shlaimah — a complete and speedy recovery — and yishar kochech – continued strength. And to her, and to all Americans, I say, Hazak hazak venit hazek: Be strong, be strong, and let us strengthen each other.

Onward and upward,

LK


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